Monday, October 17, 2016

Weston turns 6

Went to the mountains for the weekend to celebrate Weston's birthday...#6!
Saturday Anthony and I went zip lining and it was so much fun! While we were there Weston and Walker rode horses with nette, papa, and granddaddy. Waylon stayed with nana. 
Sunday was Weston's birthday. We started with breakfast with the pittmans, rode to west Jefferson for lunch, and then hiked to a waterfall. We had a small birthday supper at the camper that night. We came home Monday to see fireworks at Berkeley mall. It was a wonderful weekend! 





State fair 2016

Today we took the boys on our yearly trip to the state fair. We got there, went to one of their favorite spots...the model train exhibit! They watched again this year what felt like forever and then we headed to buy ride tickets. Walker knew immediately that he wanted to do the slide with daddy. After this we headed to check out a few more rides before they decided they wanted to do the beach shack shake ride. Dad rode this as well, since I can't take the round and round shaking. We then decided to head to the roller coaster on the opposite side of the kids midway. We headed off, got there, and then the worst thing in all of my life happened. Weston wanted to ride the coaster with Walker. He said "come on Walker" and we then realized that Walker was not with us. Weston began screaming and crying. Walker was no where around us. I turned in circles what felt like an eternity with everything moving in slow motion. I saw people staring at me. I heard a family say, "they can't find him". Anthony took off at a sprint in the direction that we had just walked. I hugged Weston and reassured him that everything was going to be ok. I started praying, all while trying not to freak out, that Jesus would get him back to us. That nothing was happening to him and that he wasn't scared. My worst thought was that someone would grab him. I was looking around for police but not wanting to leave so A would know there we were. I continued praying. Just over the crowd I saw A's head but I couldn't see that he had Walker clinging to him until he came around the corner. Relief came over me. He was safe. He was unharmed. He was with us. I grabbed him from Anthony and told him that I was so sorry. I hugged and did not want to let him go. I am his protector. The one who kisses his booboos and it magically takes the pain away, who lays with him until he falls asleep at night. Who lets him play with my hair when he's scared or nervous and I had just left him in a sea of strangers. I say this to say that we are all imperfect. I feared that this would one day happen to me and I hope it never does again. I could have lost him and I can't get that out of my mind. 

On the way home we talked about what happened in the sweetest conversation. I asked him what he was feeling at that moment. He said his chin was shaking (which, in translation, is his way of telling me that he was about to cry). He told me that he wanted to tell the people around him that he couldn't find his mama but he didn't know their names. He told me he saw a bunch of grown ups and then he saw daddy. He was extremely smart and stayed in the area that we had just been together, thankfully. 
I let him know that I had been praying that Jesus would lead him back to us, safe and happy. 
Don't judge people when things like this happen around you. I am the mom that counts 1,2,3 all the time to make sure they are with me. I hold hands with them. This was a freak accident that I never want to relive, but hope that my honesty in saying that I left my child in a crowd that the fair will alert others to always be aware. I mentioned to Anthony that I was a horrible mom and he told me "a horrible mom wouldn't have cared that he was gone and prayed for his return". He's so generous sometimes 😀. I fail everyday. I struggle to read books, I need breaks every now and then, I feed them McDonald's. They sometimes fall asleep before we brush their teeth. With all of my shortcomings and this HUGE mistake I mostly want them to know that I give 150% of myself to make sure they know I love them, even if I have to prove it by praying in the middle of the state fairgrounds for them to return to me.